This phrase so perfectly describes where I feel like I am at this moment in time on my journey.
Sitting at lunch this week with dear friends, each of whom have also experienced a significant ‘shift’ in their belief, I found myself trying to describe where I am in relationship to the Church, and this idea of “living on the edge of inside” came back to my thoughts as a very apt description.
Richard Rohr, who has in recent decades become world renown for his fresh, loving, and authentic insights about all things related to God, has written The Eight Core Principle“. Principle #4 is entitled, “On the Edge of Inside.”
“To live on the edge of the inside is different than being an insider, a ‘company man,’ or a dues paying member. Yes, you have learned the rules and you understand and honor the system as far as it goes, but you do not need to protect it, defend it, or promote it. It has served its initial and helpful function. You have learned the rules well enough to know how to ‘break the rules properly’ which is not really to break them at all, but to find their true purpose: ‘not to abolish the law but to complete it’ as Jesus rightly puts it (Matthew 5:17). A doorkeeper must love both the inside and the outside of his or her group, and know how to move between these
two loves.” ~ Richard Rohr
David Brooks borrowed this concept from Rohr, and wrote a wonderful op-ed for the New York Times, entitled At the Edge of Inside, where he says, “People who live at the edge of the inside have crucial roles to play. . .when you live on the edge of any group, you are free from its central seductions, but also free to hear its core message in very new and creative ways.”
Rohr and then Brooks talk about three groups in any organization: the insiders, the outsiders, and the ones on the ‘edge of inside.’ I think it is vital that we acknowledge that for many of us who find ourselves here, we quickly learn it is difficult to be on the border, and we can find it a disconcerting and uncomfortable place to live. We often find that we aren’t fully accepted by either the insiders or outsiders. It can feel lonely not fully being part of either group. However, the way I am experiencing it, I do believe we are also better able to “see clearly” and meaningfully bring about change than either those on the inside or outside.
“A doorkeeper must love both the inside and the outside of his or her group, and know how to move between these two loves.”
~ Richard Rohr