Many LDS women do not feel that they are being silenced, nor do they feel that they are “silent partners”, neither in marriage nor in the counsels of the Church.
There is merit to this thinking. Most LDS priesthood leaders try their best to listen, understand, and incorporate feedback into their decision making process. Ward Councils include both men and women. Much progress is being made to incorporate the voice of women in very visible ways.
Yet when I look at the details, when I look at our doctrines, when I look at the data, the reality is that the silencing of women is more systematic and doctrinal than we might realize.
Someone commented to me: “Seems like a very distorted view of marriage. I don’t believe that women have ever been asked to be silent partners.”
They have a great point. It certainly is a distorted view of marriage to require women to be silent, and as I noted, most leaders of our Church try very hard to incorporate feedback as they make decisions. The problem isn’t the majority of good, well meaning leaders. The problem is systematic and fundamental to our Christian and correlated LDS doctrines.
Many who take scripture to be the Word of God find explicit justification for silencing women:
“Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.”
(1 Corinthians 14:34-35)
“Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.”
(1 Timothy 2:11-12)
Indeed, these two scriptures form the basis for why priesthood authority is the exclusive domain of men. A woman cannot exercise authority over the man, but rather, she must hearken to her husband, who presides in the home; and to her male priesthood leaders, who preside in the church.
We may think that these scriptures shouldn’t be taken literally, that indeed, women do speak in church, give prayers, and speak in Ward Council.
But we need to look at the data and what these verses actually say:
1. Are women commanded to be under obedience to men? Indeed, women are under covenant to hearken to their husbands (formerly stated as “obey”), while the husband, and indeed all men, are NOT under covenant to hearken (listen, understand, and obey) their wives.
2. What percentage of women speak in General Conference? Even in the women’s session, three men and three women spoke, but men dominated the time and honored final speaking spots. And in the open sessions, only one woman spoke, the lowest representation by women in general sessions in over a generation. It may not be a shame for women to speak in church, but our actions — the actual data — show that we are ashamed to feature women as primary carriers of the Word.
3. Does a woman ever have any authority over the man in the LDS church? Never. Doctrinally, a woman cannot preside over a man, but the man can, and does in every situation, preside over the woman.
The data shows, by our actions, that we follow Paul in the key points of limiting the role of Women in speaking in the highest church conferences, as well as in presiding in any way over men. These verses of the New Testament, while seemingly obsolete, remain in effect in the LDS Church.
So when a women speaks, she does so by permission of the leaders who make the decisions.
And where are these decisions made? In the *presidency” meetings and high councils of the church.
– Bishopric
– Elder’s Quorum Presidency
– Stake Presidency
– Stake High Council
– Area Presidency
– Seventies Presidency
– Presiding Bishopric
– Quorum of the Twelve
– First Presidency
These are the places where ALL decisions are made for the church. The Ward Council may advise, may discuss, but in the end ALL decision power, all “Keys of Authority” are held by men. How many women are present to speak at these councils and quorums? None.
It is the Doctrine of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that women cannot have authority over the man, nor share that authority with a man.
So while women may speak all we want them to speak, their voice is systematically silent in the places it most matters: in the councils and presiding quorums of the Church. We might say it doesn’t matter, but indeed it matters a great deal.
The most formative document on the role of women was created without any input from women. Women were silenced in the process. Chieko Okazaki was in the General Relief Society Presidency when this critical document was being discussed in the Quorum of the Twelve. Here is her quote from an interview with Greg Prince:
Chieko Okazaki: When “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” was written, the Relief Society presidency was asked to come to a meeting. We did, and they read this proclamation. It was all finished. The only question was whether they should present it at the priesthood meeting or at the Relief Society meeting. It didn’t matter to me where it was presented. What I wanted to know was, “How come we weren’t consulted?”
Greg Prince: You didn’t even know it was in the works?
Chieko Okazaki: No. They just asked us which meeting to present it in, and we said, “Whatever President Hinckley decides is fine with us.” He decided to do it at the Relief Society meeting. The apostle who was our liaison said, “Isn’t it wonderful that he made the choice to present it at the Relief Society meeting?” Well, that was fine, but as I read it I thought that we could have made a few changes in it. Sometimes I think they get so busy that they forget that we are there.
The most effective form of silence is where the person affected by the decisions is not even present to speak.
So while we see progress in the Church to include women in attendance at councils, the systematic silencing of women in actual decisions is deafening.
My point of this post isn’t to condemn the church, but rather, to challenge us to rethink our systematic way of silencing those whose voices must be heard.
We can do better.
We must do better.
We must never allow our voices to be not heard. When we sit in councils, we are a voice. When a council makes decisions in our absence, without our voice, it can have no moral authority over us. We can speak out.
Jesus did.
Yes, his twelve apostles were all men. Jesus was, after all, a Jew who followed Jewish customs of his time to a point; but we need not be constrained to those customs. In fact, early Christian women served as deaconesses, prophets, and an Apostle, Junia, demonstrating that in the earliest Christian church, Priesthood was not the exclusive dominion of men.
The most important disciples of Jesus were:
Those who bore Christ into this world
Those who first witnessed that he was the Christ
Those who first witnessed His Resurrection
And these were all women.
To silence women’s voices is to silence the very witness of Christ: his birth, his life, his resurrection.
The evidence is there in scriptures that women played a prominent, vocal role in the formation of the Christian Church; only to be later silenced by the increasing control, dominion, and compulsory power of Priesthood men, as the Church submitted to the power of Caesar.
As the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ, we must restore the place of women as equal in authority and power.
We can do better.
We must do better.
I cannot change anyone else. I have no desire to change my church, nor the ability to do so.
But I can change how I act.
I can set aside any sense of privilege of men and condescension toward women.
I can speak out when women’s voices are not heard in councils.
I can stand and declare that systematic silence is not of God.
I can stand as a witness of the Christ in his birth, in his life, and in his resurrection in solidarity and humility with all my brothers and sisters — equally yoked with the Christ.
We can do better.
We must do better.
We *will* do better.