When my oldest son came to me in his near complete faith deconstruction (married, 2 children, in a Ph.D. Program), I had no way of understanding or dealing with what he described, because my own cup was so full to the brim of what I thought I knew to be *Truth*.
There was no room in my cup for new learning or growth.
It didn’t take long for me to realize that in order for me to wrap my heart and mind around — and begin to process — new information, I had to empty my cup of most of what I was so sure about, to make room for new possibilities.
What a journey this has been!
The need for an empty cup, and an open heart and mind, is the basis for everything. Yet in so many of our lives, when we try to learn something new we try to put things on top of things, never removing the true barriers or leaving behind the behaviors that don’t work for us.
The “Empty Your Cup” conversation:
“Empty your cup” is an old Chinese Chan (Zen) saying that occasionally pops up in western popular entertainment. “Empty your cup” often is attributed to a famous conversation between the scholar Tokusan and Zen Master Ryutan.
Scholar Tokusan — who was full of knowledge and opinions about the dharma — came to Ryutan and asked about Zen. At one point Ryutan re-filled his guest’s teacup but did not stop pouring when the cup was full. Tea spilled out and ran over the table. “Stop! The cup is full!” said Tokusan.
“Exactly,” said Master Ryutan. “You are like this cup; you are full of ideas. You come and ask for teaching, but your cup is full; I can’t put anything in. Before I can teach you, you’ll have to empty your cup.”
This is harder than you might realize. By the time we reach adulthood we are so full of information that we don’t even notice it’s there. We might consider ourselves to be open-minded, but in fact, everything we learn is filtered through many assumptions and then classified to fit into the knowledge we already possess.
May we remember to “empty our cup” as we travel this path with open hearts and minds.